Talking to hot girls can seem like a daunting task. I once thought I needed a mouthpiece that rivaled Oscar Wilde just to perk a beautiful woman’s interests. It always seemed as if what I had to say wasn’t good enough, funny enough, or intelligent enough.
Later I realized what I have to say IS good enough, funny enough, and intelligent enough; although, I only realized that because I learned HOW to communicate with women in the right way. Rather than talk to girls as if I were conversing with a friend or another guy, I developed an understanding of HOW to communicate with women.
While my thoughts were exactly the same, the way girls responded to those thoughts was radically different. I found I could attract women while “being myself” so long as I understood the right way to talk. The 4 pointers below are ways you, too, can communicate YOUR unique personality in a way that’s incredibly attractive to hot women.
1. Make It About
You And Her
Whenever flirting with a girl, you want to create a connection in as little time as possible. The sooner you can transition yourself from “stranger” to “attractive guy” the better. The fastest way to do that is by creating a “you and me” vibe.
There are a few ways to do this.
- You can play it humorous: “Hey, you look like my future ex-wife”
- You can play it as a way of creating rapport: “Wow, I think me and you are the only two people in this bar who truly appreciate Phil Collins”
- You can even play it serious: “Hi, I’m Rob. I just had to come over to meet you”
There’s usually no good reason to drive a wedge between you and a woman you’ve just met. In fact, creating a “you and me” vibe preempts future bullshit because it gives you a reason to get along if things unexpectedly go south, e.g.: “Honey, why would you treat the only other soul who enjoys Phil Collins like this? Come on, this isn’t us…”
Whether you create role-plays for one another, bond over common interests, or just connect through the environment or situation, the theme of “you and her” should permeate throughout the interaction and, ideally, your relationship.
2. Creating & Balancing Sexual Tension
Tension moves an interaction forward. Injecting tension into a conversation makes it fun, interesting, perhaps a bit awkward, but ultimately incredibly attractive to a girl.
To understand tension is to understand confidence. That’s because tension comes from two polarities pulling in different directions. If you’re a wimpy, unconfident guy then a woman’s polarity will pull you, deflating all the tension necessary for “chemistry.” (This is what usually happens to “nice guys.”)
Once you understand how/why tension works, start “holding the line” and creating moments of tension when conversing with women. By knowing your boundaries and interests, you can confidently disagree with a girl if she says something you don’t like. Women want to see that you’re a man with your own interests and tastes.
So if she starts rapping about Britney Spears or whatever topic you don’t care about, saying, “Yeah, I’m not into that at all” will create tension. This doesn’t contradict the “you and her” vibe because it’s still you and her, but it’s the REAL you and her…not “fake-you-pretending-to-be-a-girl and her.”
3. The Benefits
Mixing a sexual conversation with humor is the best way to keep things moving forward with charismatic ease. Rather than list the obvious benefits of humor, let’s cut right to the pointers on funniness.
One very easy but effective way to be funny is by exaggerating everything. Taking simple, everyday things and making them dramatic and over-the-top is an easy way to get girls laughing. So, as an example, if you were asking a girl to meet you at Starbucks, it’d be funny to say something like:
“Oh my God, I’m bringing you to this coffee place that’s pure magic. It’s the best-kept secret in all of Manhattan…but I’ll expose you to the culture and décor known as STARBUCKS. This place is incredible, you can’t even order in English…they have their own Starbucks language with sizes like tall, grande, and vente. Lucky for you, I can translate.”
Another way to quickly improve your humor is by collecting funny phrases or labels. Teasing girls with names like “Chatty Cathy” (if she’s talking too much) or asking if she’s a “wino” (if she’s drinking wine) always get a laugh. Reading good fiction or watching funny movies are great places to mine for comedy gold. Words like “he-bitch,” “wankster,” “diva,” and “twat swatter” are all words and sayings I’ve heard in pop culture and have incorporated into my lexicon of hilarity.
Open your eyes and start collecting the funny!
4. Use Everything Around You
The only guys who “run out of things to say” are guys who are walking around with blinders on. If you open your eyes, you’ll find a world of things to talk about with women. Everything from how she’s dressed to observations about the people around you should inspire great conversation.
For example, I routinely grab a girl’s hand, examine her rings and exclaim nonsense like, “Ohhhh!! Bling bling!!” or grab a girl’s necklace and say, “Cute. I like. I’m gonna steal it.” I could probably have a conversation with a girl for an entire night based solely on making stupid comments about her accessories.
And if that ever goes south, looking around the room and making up stories about the people you see never gets old, either. I usually like to keep things sexual, so I’ll usually point out some couple and say things like, “I’ll bet they have really bad sex” or (more PG-rated), “Do you think that’s her boyfriend or do you think that chick is having a secret affair?”
If you’re cognizant of what’s in front of you, you should never run out of things to “riff” on.
“…See You Out There”
Take these pointers and try them out. But be patient. Learning to cultivate the gift of gab takes practice and time. Be willing to mess it up and look like an idiot.
In fact, acknowledging your mistakes can create great conversation. When I say something dumb (which is more than I’d like to admit), I usually just roll my eyes, snicker, and tell the girl, “Wow, that was so stupid. The stuff that comes out of my mouth sometimes…”
Being a good conversationalist comes back to the belief that what you have to say is good enough for any girl (even if it’s “so stupid”). So with these pointers in mind, go out, talk to some girls and turn that belief into a conviction!
And if you want 7 chapters on communicating attractively with women, grab yourself a copy of the Date Hotter Girls bible of dating, “The 4 Elements of Game”.
To read more check out Date Hotter Girls: The 4 Elements of Game