Let’s face it, most guys simply don’t know what they are doing when it comes to beginning a conversation with a girl. I hear guys say all the time, “If only I could start a conversation I’d be good to go from there.”
To be honest it is not your fault that you don’t know how to properly approach women. Society often encourages individuality, and unfortunately some basic social skills get lost as a result.
What’s worse is that the information that’s already out there about how to begin a good conversation with a girl is absolute horse shit. I just read an article on this very subject on a popular blog devoted to men and dating skills. This site claims to be an authority for years…and their advice sucked.
The article advised guys to talk to talk to girls using open-ended questions so that the conversation will not die. One example was that if you see a girl in a coffee shop you should say, “what do you think of that mug?” The logic is that by asking what she thinks about it, it will guarantee she has a response. This is fine…if you’re an idiot.
A Quick Opinion…?
Then there is the good old fashioned “opinion opener” where you go up to a girl and ask for her opinion as a female on some fabricated scenario that you read in a book. This technique will certainly demonstrate your personality to the girls you approach – a guy that is so out of touch with himself and reality, that you need a fake excuse to engage people in conversation.
Finally there is the “direct” approach to beginning conversations with women. This style advocates that you walk right up to a girl and tell her that you like her, or find her attractive and want her number. This is a little better than the previous options, but if this is your style you might prefer to just club her over the head and drag her back to your cave.
So what’s the foolproof trick to begin a conversation with a girl? Right in the middle. “What the fuck does that mean?” you might be asking yourself. It is so simple that you will be shocked at how effective this is.
‘Beginning in the middle’ means that you should go up to the girl and just start talking as if you are continuing a previous conversation. Skip the introduction, skip the opening line, just jump ahead of it all.
When you do this, it really doesn’t matter what you are saying. No matter what you say to her, it will be random and out of context – there is no way for it not to be.
But it will generate intrigue so fast it will make her head spin. She will be wondering if you two have met before, but she will not recognize your face. She may wonder if you have confused her with someone else.
Either way, she will drop her guard will want some sort of resolution to what is going on and her curiosity will drive her crazy. Now, instead of you trying to introduce yourself to her, she will already be trying to figure out who you are and what the hell you’re all about…and your job just got that much easier.
From there the conversation has begun and you can even feel free to back up to the introduction stage. After this sort of first impression a proper introduction will be anything but boring.
Here is an example of how this would play out in a grocery store.
You: “Those apples are no good for making sangria.”
You: “Especially with a heavier wine it will just be too sweet to tolerate.”
Her: “Do I know you from somewhere?”
You: “Oh sorry, I’m Greg.”
From this point there is a ton of unanswered questions, such as “why the f#@k are you talking to me.” This is a GOOD thing, and is at the center of what Rob talks about in The 4 Elements of Game. This sort of approach builds tension…fast. That tension will be released as the two of you fill in the missing pieces – together.
Now you have a reason to tell her that you thought she was cute, or explain that you wanted to meet her. But rather than simply throwing all your cards on the table, you can instantly and effortlessly add a layer of intrigue by simply ‘beginning in the middle.’
You can then get right back to what you were talking about, giving you not only something to say, but also something to propose that you two go off and do together. In the example above, the obvious move is to suggest that you two go make sangria – after a brief introduction of course.
Now this is not the only way to begin conversations, but it is one great quick fix for guys looking for instant results with very little thought or effort.
Try it out and let me know what you think!