The way we attract and relate to each other has changed more dramatically in the past decade than during any other historical period. Ten years ago, the “pick up artist” phenomenon was gaining momentum, mobile dating didn’t exist, and the concept of “multi-dating” was frowned upon.

There was a market for dating products and information long before the mid-2000s, but the explosion of the dating INDUSTRY is something that has pushed the dating world to evolve FAST in the past decade.

You won’t get far on a drive through a city street or past a basic Google search without seeing some kind of advertisement for a dating platform or product. eHarmony, one of the first online dating platforms, is now just one of hundreds (maybe thousands) of online portals into the new virtual dating world.

Ten years ago, the world of online dating was a weird and scary place that only social outcasts dared venture into. It was considered “abnormal” and unnecessary by the general population:

“Why don’t you go on a NORMAL date? You’ve never even met her before!”

As smartphone technology developed, dating apps began to emerge—allowing people to literally date from their pockets. A decade ago, the thought of this was inconceivable.

Now that apps like Tinder have been around for a few years, mobile-daters have learned a very important lesson: signing up for MULTIPLE PLATFORMS is the key to success.

With so many people logging into the online and mobile dating world, getting dates, getting laid, or getting a girlfriend has become a numbers game. As a result, our attention spans have significantly DECREASED. Studies have shown that we only have a split second to make an attractive impression on a mobile dating app.

Dating has always been about “marketing” yourself. However, the ability to employ marketing strategies in the dating world has become increasingly important when optimizing the small window of opportunity that we have to be “attractively memorable.” (plug for Tinder product?)

Dating multiple women simultaneously was a relatively taboo thing to do, or even discuss, in the early-mid 2000s. Now it’s the norm.

Relationships are more fast-paced then they’ve ever been. With the help of new dating platforms, relationships are forming and ending faster then even a few years ago. Because of this, most people find it better not to put all of their emotional “eggs” in one basket. There are good reasons for this:

1. Both parties maintain realistic expectations

2. It’s easier to relax on a date because you know this is not THE date that you have to MAKE work—lest your love life fall into ruin

3. Dating becomes a much more comfortable and beneficial learning experience: you have the opportunity to alter your behavior based on results—how interested or “into you” she is

Whenever my older friends ask about my current romantic engagements, they sometimes ask: “Are you GOING OUT with anyone?”

While “going out” isn’t nearly as outdated as “going steady,” it shows that we’ve come a long way with the definitions and labels that we give our relationships.
Our relationships have gone from having detailed definition (“she’s my girlfriend”) to mostly confusion. Most of the time we don’t even know how to define what we’re doing with people:

“We’re hanging out.”

Or,

“I’m talking with this girl…”

Or even,

“We’re just hooking up.”

Which brings us to our final change…

The rise of hook-up culture in combination with the prevalence of mobile dating apps has led to a “dating apocalypse”—a fundamental change in the way men and women interact with each other.

The idea of a “one-night-stand,” casual sex, or hooking-up is nothing new to human society. But never before has hooking-up been so openly discussed or such a visible aspect of the modern dating world.

This change has allowed us to be more open and honest about what we want from our romantic relationships. No longer are we constricted by the linear progression of a “traditional” romantic relationship:

1. Meet a girl through friends (or online if you’re desperate)
2. Take her on a few dates
3. MAYBE have sex, IF you are emotionally compatible
4. Become “official” after going on multiple dates
5. Date until the time is “right” for a marriage proposal

The progression has shifted to something more like this:

1. Communicate with multiple women online and through mobile apps
2. Spend time and/or have sex with those you are most interested in
3. If you’re interested in a relationship, begin “hanging out” or “seeing” one girl on a regular basis
4. Eventually become “official”
5. Discuss marriage if that’s something you’re both interested in
6. Continue moving forward in the relationship, or part ways, depending on the congruence of your lives at the moment

As little as ten years ago, dating was still one of the driving factors behind everything we did: go to school, get a good job, find a girl, get married, etc. Now dating and romance “compliment” our personal and professional lives—at times even taking a back seat to these other pursuits.